Mental health of young parents

 

|| Mental health of young parents ||

 

I have heard that the young always inherit revolutions. After the COVID-19 pandemic and the ongoing scientific revolution, along with the fast pace of the world, the younger generation has taken many unimaginable and miraculous steps. For instance, many young scientists were involved in the project to land on the moon, such as Chandrayan 3. Numerous young CEOs have also shown remarkable results in achieving success. Young people have witnessed the world becoming closer through communication systems like computers, phones, and social media. With the recent education system, they also know how to use these media to establish or flourish in their own businesses. Life on Earth has become expensive, and to survive comfortably, we need to earn money. However, don't you think that these desires are sometimes created by individuals under peer pressure, comparison, show-off, and other negative thought processes? So, even though you may be financially efficient, you might not be emotionally able to balance life, leading to mental health issues.

Today's young parents are surrounded by many responsibilities, including education, jobs, family, social status, and the additional and often addictive responsibility of social media. I personally have the habit of glancing at social media once a day, but I don't focus on what others do – where they travel, what car they drive, what house they own, or which brand of clothing they wear. Instead, I pay attention to how they behave, what kind of humility they possess, and how dedicated they are to what they do. I have come to realize, after observing people for several years, that more than 50% of them don't genuinely enjoy what they do; they only do it because others are doing it. I have seen many parents, for example, dancing with their kids on social media, but it seems they do it not because they genuinely believe it's good for their child, but because others are doing it. They often fail to realize that such actions don't help them develop a real connection with their child, which is built by understanding them on a deeper level.

 

Recently, we met a couple where the mother had come from a rural area to Mumbai to develop her skills in acting, and the husband was also in the film direction or a similar profession. While the mother's acting career was just about to take off, this couple decided to get married, and in a short time, they had a baby. It's a beautiful feeling to become parents and bring a new life into this world. However, in this case, both parents seemed to be deeply engrossed in their individual pursuits. The mother was driven by her passion for acting, and the father was occupied with his professional work. As a result, neither of them showed a strong interest in raising their child. The child experienced a delay in speaking and needed extra attention. On the advice of others, they did bring the child to show us once, but during their visit, they had a heated quarrel in front of us. This situation left us feeling confused about how to treat the child when both parents' mental health appeared to be unstable. It raised concerns about their ability to provide a stable and nurturing environment for their baby.

On the other hand, we encounter many parents who enjoy being parents but tend to pamper their children excessively. They take on all the responsibilities of feeding, dressing, and caring for their kids. In some cases, grandparents are not supposed to interfere, or they take on the majority of caregiving duties because both parents are working. Since they often feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children, they try to compensate by giving in to all their demands. They don't even inform the child when they have to leave, fearing the child will cry, and they keep them constantly surrounded by their peers. Some children are forced into tuitions, whether they like it or not, and parents may even complete their kids' school projects to ensure they match up to the standards set by other parents. After years of indulgence, these parents may suddenly expect their children to become independent, excel academically, secure spots in the best universities, and meet other high expectations.

 

 

 

Earlier, our ancestors used to have more than five kids. They allowed them to grow on their own, and there was discipline in the house. Rituals and ethics were very important for living a good life. Money was not a priority like it is today. Relationships and kindness were the priority. Even though there were kids of kings like Lord Rama and Lord Krishna, who had every luxury of their time, the importance was given to maintaining and sacrificing for relationships. Humbleness and kindness were the real-life lessons. Whether you dressed like a king, wore beautiful clothes or ornaments, or went to the best guru school, there was no comparison; helping each other and being humble were the values. In comparison to that, just think about what we do as young parents. Do you really have that balance and strong mental health to manage all the things that our ancestors used to do more efficiently?

 

 

I have two daughters. Though everyone said this curriculum is good or that, we decided to tailor their education according to their individual potential. I used to attend all their extracurricular activities based on their interests. I never forced them to use other people's books or guides; I allowed them to think in their own unique way. As a language and speech therapist, I knew that having a strong foundation in language is crucial, as everything else falls into place from there. I focused on that aspect more. I also taught them the importance of discipline, respect for others, and kindness. In difficult times, whether it was related to their learning, eating habits, dealing with friends, or emotional issues, we were there to support them. We encouraged them to face their challenges and learn to overcome them. Despite both of us working, we made sure to be there for them whenever they needed us.

 

I feel today's young parents first need to balance their own emotions and address their own mental health issues. When they feel comfortable and understand each other, only then should they consider becoming parents. Being a parent is one of the best moments in life, and one must cherish them. If you can be a good role model and confident, your child will also grow with that confidence. In today's world, insecurity is a major mental health issue that today's young parents are facing, and it's being passed on to their kids as well, creating a vicious cycle. I have seen that when parents work together with their child, sharing the responsibility 50-50 percent, that's when you will see great results in a child's achievement, especially parents with special needs children. Some educated parents are not ready to believe or accept that they have a special needs child, leading to a lot of mental health issues that they struggle to overcome. However, some accept the situation and do their best to nurture their child, even though they face numerous challenges.

 

My dear young parents, to be a parent is the greatest title in life. Your kids need your presence more than the best presents. Give quality time rather than quantity. Enjoy your parenthood. Let your child grow in the best circumstances, but also make them aware of all the circumstances. Teach them about their existence on Earth. Be a good role model for your child. You don't need to be a king, a financial business tycoon, or a big celebrity for your child; just be there as a parent for your child. Let them learn how to observe the world around them. Give them love, but also let them grow through learning and thinking. Teach them about relationships, emotions, and feelings, rather than just focusing on earning money. If you are mentally stable, then only with good mental health will you be able to handle your child, and that will reflect well in your child. I have enjoyed, am enjoying, and will continue to enjoy my parenthood with a positive attitude. What about you?