Idealism : a way to Perfection or Fantasy.....
Idealism: a way to Perfection or Fantasy....
A small intellectual brain starts functioning once we begin absorbing language through verbal stimulation from the environment. Depending on the environment and parental support, we start absorbing every piece of information. Every parent who brings a child into this universe has certain fantasies about their child. Most parents dream of having a beautiful or smart-looking child with all senses functioning normally, and who is physically and mentally fit. Nowadays, parents even take measures to ensure that their child does not contract any infections or allergies after birth, so that the child can grow normally. Parents control their food habits to prevent their child from falling sick. In the past, parents would read religious and spiritual books during pregnancy. Today, parents read about how to become the best parents, striving to be perfectionists by following the ideologies of other parents. But is this really practical, considering every parent has different physiological, psychological, and practical issues, among many other factors? How can we draw or conceive an image of ideal parents?
Recently, I met a parent who had twin girls. She was living abroad when she delivered the twins during the COVID-19 pandemic. Due to restrictions on social life, the kids were always at home. Their growth was normal, and they started walking at one year old, like other children. However, two years passed, and the kids didn’t start talking like other children. She became worried and had detailed tests done abroad, which resulted in the children being labeled as autistic. Unfortunately, she wasn’t given any guidance on what to do next. Seeing no progress in their communication, she returned to India and began searching for help. Nowadays, mothers often turn to Dr. Google for information, so she started learning online how to deal with autistic children.
As parents, if we feel our child is not able to cope like other children, we need to consult professionals who are experts in that area. They can provide a full assessment and guide us on the extra efforts needed to help overcome the child's challenges. However, parents should not forget that they are parents first. While putting in extra efforts for your child, it’s important not to overlook giving them warmth, security, and love. I have seen some parents become overly sensitive to life's challenges, while others are just ignorant or unwilling to accept that their child has difficulties and needs support. Balancing proactive involvement with emotional support is key to helping our children thrive.
After talking to the mother of the twin girls, I found that she was doing everything possible for her kids. However, she somehow forgot that she is their mother, not their professional therapist. I told her, "You have such beautiful daughters. They may have mild autistic behaviors, but you need to work on their overall development, as they are both behind the typical progress of other kids. You can help them observe and feel the things around them in the best way. At the same time, only you truly understand their sensitivity. Your understanding as a parent will be the best language stimulation for them." Idealism as a parent is to simply enjoy parenthood. Fantasies can be transformed into practical efforts, but perfection is not necessary.
Our God created us and sent us to this universe with a purpose, but are we truly working towards it? Many of us act or serve the universe based on our own convenience, without considering how God might feel about our actions. We often neglect the care our universe, nature, country, community, or family truly need, yet He continues to shower us with blessings. God has brought us into this world to make it a beautiful and ideal place to live. He encourages us to fantasize and work towards that vision. If God does not demand perfection from us, why do we expect it from ourselves or others?
A rare conversation between Ramkrishna Paramahamsa and Swami Vivekananda offers profound insights into life. Swami Vivekananda expresses feeling overwhelmed and busy, to which Ramkrishna Paramahamsa responds by differentiating activity from productivity, suggesting that true productivity brings freedom. When asked why life seems complicated, Ramkrishna advises living without over-analyzing. He also explains that constant worry leads to unhappiness and that good people endure trials to become better, not bitter. Ramkrishna underscores that experiences, even tough ones, are valuable teachers. He encourages looking inward for direction and finding satisfaction within oneself, rather than external success. Ramkrishna’s wisdom further highlights focusing on progress and blessings, maintaining faith, and understanding life as a mystery to embrace rather than a problem to solve. This conversation underscores the essence of a fulfilling life through self-awareness, inner peace, and resilience. This also shows how idealism can be a guiding path towards your achievement by identifying who you are.
Balancing idealism between perfection and fantasy requires a grounded approach that harmonizes aspirations with reality. Perfection, while a noble pursuit, can often lead to frustration and burnout if it becomes an unattainable standard. Fantasy, on the other hand, allows for creative vision and innovation but can detach one from practical considerations. Striking a balance involves setting high yet achievable goals, understanding limitations, and remaining adaptable. It means dreaming big but staying rooted in the possible, where efforts are directed towards continuous improvement rather than an elusive perfect state. This balance fosters resilience, progress, and fulfillment without succumbing to disillusionment or impracticality.
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