Positive Self Talk is Essential...

Two of the beautiful statements I read were narrated by our finest personality, Shri Ratan Tata, who recently left us with so much motivation and a thought process filled with positivity. He said, "I never believe in taking the right decisions; I take decisions and make them right." Another statement is, "Never start a business to make money; start a business to make a difference." This great man made a significant difference in various areas of life, whether it be education, transportation, steel production, cars, and many more businesses. He used to say very firmly that there is no substitute for hard work. Your heart knows your soul, your body knows its potential, and you just need to utilize them in the best possible manner. To keep your mind, body, heart, and soul in sync, your potential must flow in harmony, and then nothing is difficult. To achieve this, you must have self-talk. I read in a psychology book that if you can face yourself in the mirror, you can face anyone in this universe.

Though we live in a scientific world, we have seen so many miracles happening. If we take good care of our mental and physical health, we can have a long life. However, instead of enjoying that life, we often live with so much anxiety. I recently met one of my friends, and he said, "I have everything in life – a good house, a good family, good work – but still, I get anxiety." He explained that the anxiety comes because he loves to take risks and worries whether those risks will yield results. He also said, "When I take risks, I also think about my daughter and whether I'll be able to take good care of her with the risks I take." I just asked him, "If you feel uncertain about the risks you take, then why take them? Be happy with what you have. But if taking risks encourages and motivates you, then just do it and don't overthink."

I had just read a story before talking to him about a person whose life was sorted and completely intact, but suddenly he lost a family member. He had to undergo surgery, move out of his home for work, and felt like everything had suddenly fallen apart. He started talking to more than 100 people, constantly asking, "What if?" His imagination spiraled, and he didn't know how to regain focus. One of his dear friends advised him, "Worry about today; these are the only problems that are known to you and are real. They need to be solved or dealt with in the present. Why waste energy on things that don't exist?" It's simple – if you have to appear for an exam and you worry about it, it won’t help. You need to work hard for it. Every exam in life requires going through the process.

I am working with one of my patients who stammers. When he first came to me, I did his assessment and found that more than the stammering itself, he had a fear that he didn't speak well like others, and he believed he had mental health issues and couldn't deal with his stammering. After talking to him, I realized that due to his speech issues, he never made friends and was always with his parents. He left his studies and started working with his dad, so he is always under observation. His parents also pampered him a lot, so he never had the chance to grow independently. I taught him some breathing exercises and explained how to practice reading while facing himself in the mirror. He then realized he had developed many secondary behaviors, such as nose-blowing, stress on his neck muscles, and others.

When he practiced talking in front of the mirror, he realized how much unnecessary stress he was applying while speaking. He also recorded his voice and noticed how fast he was talking to avoid stammering, and that mindset was actually making it worse. Instead, facing the mirror, analyzing, and improving yourself helps you understand how important self-talk is. It helps you build confidence and trust in yourself. If you believe in yourself, you can do wonders. This reminds me of another statement by the beloved Ratan Tata: "Manage your crisis so well that you can hold your head high and sleep well at night."

Trusting yourself allows you to gain more energy and enthusiasm in life. It helps you take new chances and move out of your comfort zone. If someone has betrayed your trust, learn from the experience, take a new chance, and move on. This will make you stronger and empower you to become better than before. Developing self-trust also helps you build strong relationships with your loved ones, in business, and with your friends. When you engage in self-talk every day to improve and trust yourself, it helps you receive trust from the universe and abundant love from others who believe in you, just as you believe in yourself.

Positive self-talk also helps you connect with God. Many great gurus practice meditation and self-analysis, which helps their souls connect with the divine. One such great guru and leader, Ramakrishna Paramahansa, deeply believed in the idol of Goddess Kali Mata and had a profound connection with her during his prayers. Once, a South Indian guru, Totapuri, visited Ramakrishna Paramahansa at Dakshineswar. Totapuri, who initially doubted Ramakrishna’s deep connection with Kali Mata, guided him through meditation. To Totapuri's surprise, while meditating, Ramakrishna also received blessings from Kali Mata, confirming his spiritual connection.

Once, King Mangalsinh of Alwar had a conversation with the great leader Swami Vivekananda. The king said he didn't believe in God and saw no point in worshipping or praying to idols made from wood, sand, or other materials. In response, Swami Vivekananda called one of the king’s attendants and asked him to spit on a framed picture of the king. The attendant refused, saying, "No matter what happens, I will not do that, as our king is our idol, and we respect him. Just by seeing the king’s face in that frame, we are inspired." Swami Vivekananda then explained, "Gods and goddesses are like that. Just by seeing them, we receive positive energy to live our lives, whether you believe in them or not. God says, whenever you look at your own image in the mirror, you should feel respect for yourself. Speaking gently to yourself helps you speak gently to others.