Childhood isn't a race, it's a journey...

Childhood isn't a race, it's a journey...

I recently came across many youngsters who are falling sick, facing major illnesses, and experiencing a lot of stress in life, unable to balance physical and mental health. I felt the need to write on this topic. A boy who is 32 years old, a child of well-educated parents, pampered by his mother and grandmother, very aggressive, has one sister who is now married and has just graduated. All facilities were available, but he doesn’t feel like working. Suddenly, after a few years, he realizes he should work but doesn’t get a job. He feels like a failure and one fine day starts getting headaches, still continues eating junk food and having fun on the other side, while also taking medicines to handle mental issues. One fine day, he gets admitted to the hospital with a stroke and internal bleeding. What the family goes through... Still in the hospital, with stubbornness, he doesn't cooperate with doctors and due to that, he is not improving. Why is this happening more often? If you try to understand, it all starts when the child is born and how parents nourish the child.

I was just discussing with his sister. She said, however good the counselling she is providing to help him improve, he is just not listening. He doesn’t like anybody guiding him. Since he is the boy child, he has been pampered and given everything he needed by parents and grandparents. He doesn’t value anyone or any efforts done for him. My parents are really old now and they are finding it difficult to deal with him. I’m just asking all the parents who are reading this, where will our children be in the future? What are we teaching our children? Do we want to create good human beings on this planet or create havoc in the universe with our teachings?

We all parents have one or two kids these days. There are parents whose total concentration is on their children, or there are parents who leave their children with support systems like maids or caretakers. Those who concentrate fully on kids do everything for them without thinking that their children also have a brain like them that also needs to grow. I have seen parents feeding their kids till they are 10 years old. Also, during meals, they give them iPads and iPhones to play games or watch cartoons. I have seen some parents tying their kids’ shoes even when they are in the 10th standard! They want to do everything for them, not allowing them to use their fine motor skills, not allowing them to make their own decisions, and one fine day suddenly leave them in the world to “go and conquer”??? How will they do this?

On the other side, I have seen parents who let their support system do everything for their kids. They don’t even check whether everything is going in the right or wrong direction, and then, without understanding how much the child has progressed or learned, they expect them to fight the world like they do. Peer pressure, social media, and scientific revolution together have turned childhood into a race instead of a journey that should be cherished throughout life. “Parents for children and children for parents” is only possible if we enjoy the childhood journey together. Parents need to walk with them rather than pushing them to walk alone and go forward without a strong base.

While writing this article, I met another uncle who is 81 years old and has a son who is 40 years old. He worked so hard to make his son study MBA, but now he is not getting a job according to his profile, so he is not working. Today’s youngsters feel that since they are educated, they should have money accordingly. “Our peers are earning well, so we should too.” “We should work according to our status.” But if you look at it, even in our ancestors’ time, earning money was never easy. Along with education, how you deal with others, are you humble, are you kind, are you ready to work hard also counts.

In both cases, the parents are old, 70 and 81 years of age, and the children are graduates or double graduates. The parents are still working hard to run the family, and the children are sitting at home. Whom do we blame? Social media, the fast-paced scientific revolution, peer pressure, Western influence, competition, jealousy, comparison, or the way we raise our children? I recently read a post on social media that children from first standard becoming monitors in school is now considered a big breaking news? I mean, what are we turning our children into?

Our ancestors had education in a natural environment, ate natural food, used Ayurvedic medicines, respected elders, followed all family rituals, stayed together as one family, and most importantly, believed and had faith in God. And what are we as parents doing? Becoming nuclear families, taking fast-relief medicines, living with all scientific and technological facilities, having no time to pray in this fast-paced world. And now, the most important, moving into a selfie world. Being a parent and giving good parenting is very important, and we are not paying attention to it. We are just flowing without understanding the flow of life.

Our journey as parents with our children should be memorable and enjoyable. It should not be a rat race. Just like when we travel, we take all our belongings, plan our journey so we can explore different places, eat food together and share, care for anyone who falls sick, ensure the money spent is well utilized, travel together, and take lovely pictures for lovely memories. We understand different cultures and try to learn from them. Overall, we wish for a memorable journey. In the same way, parents and children should live throughout life, sharing experiences and helping each other grow confidently and positively. Walk with them so you can explore every situation together. Let’s make a change together.