GROW WITH THE FLOW

 GROW WITH THE FLOW

As long as you are breathing, everything is possible. One should never quit; keep trying and make the rest of life the best of life. Such a positive statement is easy to say but difficult to follow. However, if given no option and one tries, then nothing is difficult. For that matter, an easy and positive affirmative approach is to grow with the flow. Many times, parents come to us asking for guidance on how to deal with their kids. In earlier times, our ancestors never had any educational formula to teach kids. During those years, kids used to learn by observing their environment and others. Nowadays, there are so many guidelines for pre-pregnancy, post-pregnancy, and parenting that parents get confused about whom to follow and whom not to. There are numerous dos and don'ts for kids to learn language that they forget what is natural. I feel parents should not make any special efforts and just be natural with kids. They should make them observe everything around them and help them to be confident, allowing them to grow with the flow.

Recently, I met parents who were both graduates, and they have a very smart girl kid who is just 3 years old. She is so intelligent that she knows how to fool her parents. Her speech is articulate, and her fluency in English is impressive. She can even use complex sentences in her talking. However, there is one issue – she is not toilet trained yet, and she will pee anywhere, relying on her parents to clean up after her. Consequently, she has not been disciplined for this behaviour. In the last few months, the little girl started experiencing mild stammering (primary hesitancy) while talking. This worried her parents greatly, leading them to pay even more attention to her. Unfortunately, her behaviour issues started to increase as a result. It's common for children to have hesitancy while learning a new language, and if we overly focus on it or become overly concerned, it can exacerbate the problem and create a vicious cycle that is difficult to break out of. As parents, it is important to ignore minor changes in a child's language development and allow them to learn naturally, growing with the flow. Worries, restrictions, and excessive attention can hinder their growth and development.

The child also spends a lot of time with grandparents who speak Urdu with him. The father was worried that the child's hesitancy might be due to exposure to multiple languages. However, we reassured the parents that their child is very intelligent and has a superb vocabulary. Recent scientific studies indicate that if a child receives good language stimulation, they can learn up to 20 languages and acquire around 300 million words by the age of 5. So, the child's hesitancy is not because of learning multiple languages but likely because the parents are worried, and the child may be seeking more attention. We advised them to be normal with the child, and whenever the child struggles for words, they should help and encourage them. With this approach, the child will likely overcome the hesitancy. Natural communication with the child allows them to grow and develop their language skills naturally.

I remember an incident where the lifestyle of parents drastically affected the child's development. We should also consider the child’s growing environment as a crucial part of his/her development. Once, I diagnosed a child for a speech development problem. The parents were worried about why the child was not speaking. He was able to speak a few words, but neither the words nor the structure of the sentences were clear. While interacting with the parents, I realized that the child had been lonely. The child did not get an opportunity to socialize and interact with others; he used to be all by himself. As the parents were busy with their jobs, the lifestyle did not allow them to spend time with their child. The child neither got a chance to listen nor interact with others, because of which he could not develop speaking skills. I advised the parents to socialize the child. I asked them to let the child spend more time in a joint family rather than a nuclear family. Within seven months, the child not only developed speaking skills, but he could now speak in two languages - English and Hindi.

Having faith in Krishna gives so much energy boost; I have experienced it personally. In Krishna's Nathdwara temple, there is a Dhwajaji (a sacred flag) tied on top of the temple. One of the Dhwajajis travels to different cities, and particularly among the Pushtimargiya people, they welcome Dhwajiji at their houses. This act is regarded as welcoming God into their homes, and over the years, ancestors have emphasized the importance of welcoming Dhwajaji with mind, body, and soul. They believe in giving their best and putting their whole heart into welcoming God, whom they have faith in. Our family also followed this tradition, and we did our best to welcome God, respect our gurus, and also welcome all the guests who came for darshan. Sometimes, praying together and simply going with the flow gives so much energy and a feeling of becoming better than you are. It brings immense satisfaction, knowing that the universe has a power for us that is directed by our almighty.

Many times, youngsters go to temples or attend ceremonies of rituals, and they often ask numerous questions. They wonder why these practices are essential, how they benefit us, why specific dates are chosen, and why certain days are celebrated, among other inquiries. Some of them avoid going to pilgrimage places due to concerns about cleanliness since people may not be conscious of keeping these places tidy. In the modern world, many youngsters refrain from visiting temples or going on pilgrimages because they don't believe in the existence of God. They perceive it as a waste of time, energy, and money. However, let me tell you that sometimes, simply going with the flow of what our parents do for God and participating in certain rituals can give us an amazing feeling. Personal experiences like visiting Mathura, Gokul, and Vrindavan with my parents made me feel the presence of God in different places.

 

 

Every place has so much energy and meaning. In this fast-paced world, we have forgotten the meaning of our own existence. Perhaps visiting such places will inspire us to discover the meaning of our lives. I remember those priests or temple leaders who possessed such positive energy. One of the priests knew me and remembered my visit to the temple a few years back, which amazed me due to his remarkable memory. Their auspicious presence allows them to stay connected with the flow of past, present, and future, as they have a strong connection with God. I have heard that one of the priest's sons works in Dubai, but whenever there is a need to perform a ceremony for God, he ensures his presence and helps others to do the same.

 

 

Growing with the flow, sometimes without any specific purpose, becomes more meaningful. The natural way of growing helps the brain to be more skillful and flexible. Natural growth also helps to keep physical and mental health healthier as it does not involve comparing with anyone. My perception towards life is to be positive about all aspects of life, from praying to God, taking care of kids, pursuing education, working, and spending time to help yourself and others. This helps you to grow with the flow.