Why Children Need Conversations More Than Screens....

 

Why Children Need Conversations More Than Screens...

Recently, I attended a beautiful event based on the Vaishnav tradition in Hindu Dharma, where there are eight different darshans of the deity throughout the day. Each darshan had its own soulful song and its own bhav. Mangala Darshan begins with the Lord waking up, preceded by the sound of the shankh to invite Him; Shringar Darshan is when the Lord is beautifully adorned; Gwal Darshan depicts Lord Krishna going out with the cows and playing with His friends; Rajbhog is when He has His meal of the day, followed by His afternoon rest; Uthapan Darshan is when He awakens and is lovingly pampered by His devotees; Bhog Darshan is associated with makhan and misri; then comes Sandhya Aarti, followed by Shayan Darshan. Listening to these soulful songs describing each moment so beautifully, I could see how deeply people were immersed in prayer. It made me think about the power of conversation. A conversation with God, in the form of prayer, brings us closer to Him. It creates faith, gives resonance to our inner self and gives us the strength and energy to move forward in life.

Communication has always played an important role in human life. For generations, people have prayed, shared stories, expressed their feelings and connected with one another through conversations. Today, technology has even changed the way we pray and communicate. We can listen to prayers, watch religious programmes and connect with spiritual content through social media without stepping into a temple. Technology has certainly made many things accessible, but I sometimes wonder whether we are slowly losing the habit of meaningful conversation. We often remember the Supreme Power most deeply when we are in pain or facing a difficult situation. Perhaps that is also a reminder that connection cannot be replaced completely by technology. If a conversation with God can give us faith and emotional strength, imagine what regular, loving conversations with our children can do for their confidence, emotional wellbeing and development.

Just imagine the future we are moving towards, where artificial intelligence and robotics are becoming a part of almost every aspect of life. We are surrounded by machines that can speak, respond and even create content for us. But human beings still need human connection. Our children's environment, growth, confidence and personality are shaped significantly by the conversations they have with the people around them. The way we speak to our children, listen to them, answer their questions and share our experiences helps them understand the world and themselves. The same devotion and attention with which we have a conversation with God through prayer can be brought into our conversations with our children. When we sit with them, listen without distractions and allow them to express themselves, we create a connection that no screen can provide.

Imagine a grandmother or grandfather sitting with a child and narrating bedtime stories about God, our ancestors and their own childhood experiences. Imagine parents telling their children stories about kings, intelligent people, plants, animals and birds. On the other side, we have an iPad, iPhone or television narrating the same story. Electronic devices may provide beautiful visuals, attractive sounds and even good language, but a grandparent or parent gives something more, a personal connection. When grandparents share stories, they also bring their memories alive. Their confidence in narrating those stories becomes a role model for the child. Sitting close to your child, without gadgets, with the child on your lap or beside you, creates warmth, love and a sense of security. These simple conversations may look ordinary today, but they can go a very long way in shaping a child's future.

I still remember how my mother used to sing songs to help us fall asleep. I continued the same tradition with my daughters. Even today, whenever they feel low or find it difficult to sleep, they call me and ask me to sing those same songs. Those moments give me immense pleasure, and I can see how much comfort and peace they give my daughters too. This is the beauty of emotional connection. It is not about expensive toys, the latest gadgets or perfect parenting techniques. Sometimes, it is simply about your voice, your presence and the time you give your child. Today, when mental health and emotional wellbeing have become such important concerns, conversations have become even more necessary in every relationship. Youngsters seek professional help and talk to therapists when they are struggling, and that conversation itself becomes an important part of healing. If talking can help us deal with anxiety and emotional difficulties, why should we not make more space for honest conversations with our own loved ones?

I was reminded of this during the recent fifth anniversary celebration of our clinic, where we invited 55 hearing-impaired children. The media present at the event were amazed to see the children conversing verbally with one another during the activities. They were fascinated by the technology behind their hearing aids and by how well these children were able to hear, communicate, learn and participate. Their journey showed me once again that when children receive the right support, technology can become a powerful tool for communication and inclusion. But the hearing aid itself does not create the conversation. It is the people around the child who encourage them to listen, speak, respond and participate. And then I asked myself, these children are using technology to move towards better communication, while we, as people with no such barriers, are increasingly using technology to move away from conversation. Are we unknowingly losing something that they are working so hard to gain?

We are slowly moving towards a selfie world. Nuclear families are becoming common, and many youngsters prefer an independent lifestyle with fewer responsibilities towards children or ageing parents. Social media, domestic help and senior citizens' homes have made life more convenient in many ways. People spend a large part of their day in their offices or with friends, where they naturally communicate, share ideas and build relationships. But don't we need the same conversations at home? To be close to someone, we need to talk, listen, understand and sometimes simply sit together. Convenience cannot replace connection. A family may live under the same roof and still become emotionally distant if there is no communication. Children especially need our time, attention and words because these everyday conversations help them build confidence, language, emotional intelligence and a sense of belonging.

I see parents of children with special needs and parents of other children, and one thing remains common, every child needs conversation. In fact, I often feel that the progress seen in many children with hearing impairment teaches us a valuable lesson to all of us. When they receive appropriate technology, therapy, education and, most importantly, continuous opportunities to communicate, they work hard to become confident communicators and participate in society. So why are we, who already have every opportunity to communicate, running away from conversations and towards screens, selfies and virtual connections? Technology has its place and we should certainly use it wisely, but it should support human connection, not replace it. Our children do not need more screens when what they need most is our presence. They need us to put the phone down, look into their eyes, listen to their stories, answer their endless questions and share a few moments of our own. Perhaps the real question we should ask ourselves is not, “How much screen time should I give my child?” but, “How much of my time am I giving my child?”